Driving to work yesterday I had the radio on. Not thinking about the date too much, I was not entirely prepared for the 911 tribute/snippet that came across. It was tasteful and appropriate and a fitting reminder. It was the unclassified parts from that day of the air traffic control staff and phrases from people at ground zero. What I didn’t factor in was the amazing mind of my Miss Three.
I assumed she was staring out the window at the trees and canola (a current fascination) but she heard every second of the 60second tribute. Her questions were as follows; “Mummy what happened to those people?” “Why did the man crash the plane, why did the naughty man crash the plane, why did he want to hurt people, but why?” I’m sure you can input what my answers were to each questions (while holding back the urge to cry because my precious little people were born into a time that has such atrocities). This was the abridged version mind you. I honestly did my best to answer as honestly and as age appropriately as I could. I wasn’t prepared to lie to her but she didn’t need all the details and she certainly didn’t need to feel the enormity and fear that came with that fateful day.
And that was where it all hit me like a freight train. The next words out of her mouth I expected because she is quite clever but didn’t expect the light bulb moment I had. “Mummy will the man hurt me?” “NO baby absolutely no way in hell while I’m breathing will anything hurt you. Daddy and I won’t let anyone hurt you” I honestly meant what I had said. These were my exact words to her and I meant it with every fibre of my being. But for all my intention and promise there are a hundred outside influences that render my intentions useless.
We work so hard teaching our children their manners and etiquette. We obsess over how we and others nourish their infants. We dream over baby catalogues during pregnancy planning the perfect nursery. We spend hours preparing nutritionally balanced meals and checking food labels for sugar content and preservatives. We agonise over our parenting techniques.
But there are just some things, some lessons, some realities that we cannot change or shield our precious treasures from.
So I want to reworded my promise to Miss Three
“While ever I am on this earth, you will be safe in knowing that I will show you how to treat others. I will show you how to work hard. I will show you how to enjoy the colour of the canola in spring time. Il do my best to be the parent you need and deserve. Il try to be a good wife/partner to your Daddy so you can form healthy relationships. I will teach you not how to dance but how to feel the music that draws out the dancer. And finally I will with my heart on my sleeve teach you to rise up from setbacks or devastation and instead of fear, find joy in simple things. This promise will help you deal and protect you from whatever life may throw at you.”
As a parent we need to reconcile with the reality that we cannot protect them from everything. We can try, we can anticipate but we are only human. We can arm them with the ability to breath in the sunshine and warm up their tummies, the eyes to look at beauty in simple things like dew on a spiders web at sunrise and the courage to fight for justice and fairness.
Thank you Miss Three you never cease to amaze me with your little mind. Keep thinking five steps ahead of me one day I might even catch up for a moment
Rest in Peace to the souls of 911.